


I can't look at the Stars

by Secret_Glances



Series: Stars [4]
Category: Nightwing (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: M/M, New 52, Reboot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-16 06:57:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1336225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secret_Glances/pseuds/Secret_Glances
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...they make me wonder where you are.</p><p>Hatton Corners.</p><p>That was where they fought Mr. Twister. That's where they had their first team-up. That's where they met.</p><p>Dick figured if he went back to the place they met, he would find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I can't look at the Stars

Hatton Corners.

A small town on the coastline of the Eastern border.

It’s a special little place.

It’s where Tim knew he would find Dick.

When Babs told him Nightwing had left Gotham City and Haly’s circus without word at first he thought it could be a kidnapping. But then she told him she watched him take off. He’d been gone for a few days now. Robin and Hood had already checked all the usual spots he’d disappear to, worried about him. That’s how worried everyone was – Red Hood was worried. But Batman must have thought he’d be fine. Still.

Tim thought of an array of different possibilities, but at the back of his mind, he kept thinking about Hatton Corners. A little voice kept talking at him about the possibility, but he wasn’t completely sure. But if question on his mind – _does he?_ – was a _yes_ , than there was no doubt where Dick would be.

“Dick.” He was sitting on a dock in civvies, wading his feet in the water looking out at the ocean. Tim sat down next to him slipping off his docs, and dipping his feet in.

“Hey Timmers, how’d you find me?” Dick smiled grimly at him, knowingly. Everything in his eyes told Tim what he needed to know. The answer to the question on Tim’s mind was an undeniable yes. _Yes_. His heart dropped, sad for Dick. He wished the answer was no…

“Dick, is there something you want to tell me?” …he wished so much the answer was no, because he knows how much it hurts…

“You’re probably the smartest kid I know, Tim. You tell me.”…he knows how much it hurts to _remember_.

He knew what he meant, and Tim knew he didn’t have to say what was on both their minds. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” _Tell me how you’re feeling._

Dick smiled bitterly, droplets hanging at the corners of his eyes. “I just thought if I came here…if I just waited here…I-I just…I just…” _I just thought **he’d be here.**_ He wiped his face on his arm and sat silently. Hopelessly. Tim placed a hand on his back, and Dick leaned his head on the teen’s shoulder as more tears streamed out, one by one.

“It’s okay, Dick.” It was a lie, and it burned.

“No. It’s not.”

Tim shook his head, and gritted his teeth in frustration. “I wish I could say something meaningful.” He wished he could change things.

“I tried to pass it off as a dream, but I just…I just _know_.”

“Tell me.” Tim encouraged.

Dick frowned, and closed his eyes, and he talked. And he couldn’t stop. “I know his eyes. I know his laugh. I know his smile. I know his favorite snacks, because he didn’t have just _one_. I know his favorite bands, because they always changed with whatever he was reading at the time. I know his first kiss and all the sloppy details. And I mean the delivery, not the kiss. I know his first crazy girlfriend that almost destroyed his city. I even know how much he cared about her. I know his mother he loved with all his heart. I know his father he loved too despite all the shit he’d been through. I know his Aunt, who he looked up to more than anyone else even though he never said it. I know his hero is his Uncle without his mask. I know his pet turtle Velocity, and the day he died and we had a little funeral. I know his twins and their giggles and cries. I know his wife, who was beautiful in every way and made me wish I had a girl like that. I know his darkest secret that I know he only ever told me. Even to this day I have never said a word. I know his most embarrassing stories because I was there for every single one. I know his obnoxious jokes because I was there for all of those too. I know his dirty habits, because it annoyed the shit out of me on missions. I know how his arms feel. I remember how they feel. I-I know _him_. I know _everything about him_.” His voice died into a whisper and he cried.

He sobbed shamelessly, in a violent ugly mess that tore Tim a part on the inside. The wind blew and cried with him. The birds flew high, happily, and mockingly. Children laughed and played blissfully in the distance. The tidal waves lapped at the beach peacefully. The world turned, and Dick cried. “There’s no way for me to not know. And I can’t say I wish I didn’t know. Because I want to know. I want to keep knowing.” Tim felt his stomach lurch, because he knows how that feels. He knows it too well.

“But it hurts.”

Dick laughed softly, and murmured into his shoulder, “more than you could ever imagine.”

“I’m so sorry, Dick.”

When Dick finally calmed down, his breaths soft and even, his eyes red, and his face dry, he sighed to himself looking up at the sky moving his gaze. In a stern voice, he asked, “did you find him?” Tim knew who he meant.

“Yes.”

“Did you tell him?” Tim knew what he meant.

He felt guilty as he uttered quietly, “no.”

“You got a second chance, _twice_. Why are you still waiting?”

Tim said nothing to that. He was ashamed. “I wish you had your chance too.”

“Do me a favor,” Dick ran a hand through his hair, before saying with hope and a touch of anger, “stop waiting, Tim. Stop waiting for him to reject you. To tell you he doesn’t feel the same. To tell you he just wants to be friends. To tell you different To tell you he loves you too. To tell you he’s always felt that way. To tell you he wants to be together forever. To tell you whatever it is he wants. Whatever is his reaction, I only know one thing. He cares about you; he’s always cared about you. He’ll always care about you. So whatever is his reaction if you tell him, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he _knows_. If he never knows, you’ll never forgive yourself. No matter what, he’ll be grateful, because he knows how hard it is for you to trust and give your love away. He knows how special you have to be to have your love. So he won’t blow it off. He’ll love you. No matter what you do or how he feels, he loves you. So do something. Stop waiting.”

“Thanks, Dick.” Tim paused, swallowing before suggesting, “Maybe –“

“I hate that word.”

“ _Someday_ …” Tim thought his words out carefully, “…you’ll be happy again.”

After a long moment, Dick finally uttered out sadly, “I hope so too.”

_You’re my best friend. You have always been since we were kids._

_The next time I really need help, Dick. I’ll come to you._

“I hope he comes back soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Stars - Grace Potter & the Nocturnals


End file.
